I thought long and hard on whether I wanted to write this post. I had so many thoughts in my head, that I needed some place to put them all down.
I started this blog with the intention of sharing real thoughts, real opinions, all written by a real girl. I was so caught up with all the beauty posts that I forgot things that mattered. Recently, I have been through things that have totally changed me and my way of thinking. I realized what was really important, I also saw true, eternal love for the first time, I also felt my heart break into pieces for the first time.
Those of you who follow me on Instagram and Facebook may already know, that my grandpa was admitted to hospital last week with a high fever. He was then diagnosed with Tuberculosis a few days later. With many existing health issues, my grandpa was sent to the isolation ward.
Today was the first time I saw him since he was transferred, and I knew it would make me devastated.
We saw his face through a television, with a camera propped on top of it so he could see us too. There were technical difficulties with the sound, plus my grandpa's hearing was increasingly weak - he could barely hear us.
We kept shouting words of encouragement, how much we missed him, and how much we wished for his speedy recovery. All he asked for, was to speak to my grandma.
When she spoke, my grandma was like the little girl who fell in love with a handsome marine officer. With tears streaming down her eyes, she reassured him that she was taken care of by us, and that she missed him so, so much. All he said was 'I love you', over and over again. Grandma cried even harder, and I tried to resist my tears. At that moment, I could feel my heart shatter into pieces - I knew it did.
The image of grandpa crying, telling her that she must stay strong, and that he loved her a lot, stayed in my mind for the rest of the day, even up until now. And each time I thought about it, it felt like someone pinched my heart hard. The next time I thought about it, my heart was pinched harder, and my eyes begin to water.
I witnessed love like I have never seen it before. All these years, all I've heard from grandma is her complaining about how being married to my grandpa made her live a poor, meaningless life. Yet here she was, telling him that she loved him so. It made me realize that people really do lie about how they feel, just because they can't bring themselves to speak the truth about love. Why should love be a secret? Why do we stop ourselves from saying we love someone? It is only 3 simple words, with such a strong meaning.
What I learned today was love really exists, and that if given the chance, I would tell my grandpa I loved him every single day. He deserves to hear the truth.
If you are still reading, please kindly pray for my grandpa.
I wish I gave him more hugs, I wish I told him I loved him, I wish I shared more of my life with him.